Butterflies part 10
by Kksaunt1
Summary: How will Jack deal with the loss of his brother?


Jack couldn't sleep. He knew his mom was leaving in the morning and he was uneasy about her travelling that far. He asked Bill to go and he agreed to so at least she wasn't travelling alone.

He got up and decided to take a walk. It was cool outside but not enough to wear a coat. He just started walking. He didn't know how it happened, but he found himself at Elizabeth's. He sat down on her front steps. The next thing he knew, she came out the front door.

"Jack? Are you ok? Do you want to come in?"

"No, I'm sorry. I've got to go."

"Jack? Please wait. I want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry. It's late. I shouldn't be here."

"Jack you've come by late before. You know I don't mind. Please come in. I can make you some tea, or something to eat. Come on." She held out her hand and waited for him to grab it. He did. He allowed her to lead him into the house and he sat down on the couch while she made him his tea.

She brought the tea over and sat beside him. He drank his tea silently. She looked at him, trying to figure out what to say that might help.

"So, your mom leaves tomorrow?"

"Yes, she does."

"And Bill is going with her?"

"Yes, he is."

"Are you worried something might happen to her?"

"Elizabeth, I really can't talk about this now. I need to go."

"No, wait please, Jack. We don't have to talk. Just stay with me."

"I'm sorry." He stood up and left the house and walked back to the jail. No emotion. Nothing. He went to bed but didn't sleep. When morning came, he got dressed, made sure his mom got on the stage with Bill, did his rounds, and came back to the jail. No emotion. It was easier that way.

Elizabeth stopped by to see how he was. He told her he was fine. She knew he wasn't. She asked him to come over for dinner. He said no, he had paperwork to finish. He didn't. No emotion. It was just easier.

Elizabeth had to figure this out. They promised each other they would always do it together, but he was pushing her away. She didn't know what to do, so she went to see Abigail for some advice.

"Abigail, I don't know what to do. I try to be there but he won't talk to me. He says no when I ask him to come over for dinner. He makes excuses. I have never seen him like this. It's like he's a different person."

"Jack is a strong, caring man. I have never met anyone who cares for people as deeply as he does, except for you. That being said, his brother died and he is struggling with that fact. He loved his brother and he is not sure how to deal with losing him. Charlotte was right. You are the one he needs. He's just afraid of relying on someone, when he is normally the one who people rely on. Being a man, he thinks he needs to be strong, but really he needs to be vulnerable. You need to help him do that."

"I don't know how to do that."

"You do. Keep trying to be there for him. Eventually he will let you in."

Elizabeth walked away from Abigail's with renewed conviction to help Jack. Starting now.

She saw his light was on at the jail. She walked to the window and peaked in. He was just sitting at his desk. Staring at it. No emotion on his face. Just sitting there. She took a deep breath and walked in the door.

"Elizabeth. Why are you here? I told you I had work."

"I can see how busy you are."

"I am. Please just go. I don't have time to talk."

"You are going to have to make time, sweetie. I am going to be your wife in two weeks. You need to let me in. You are pushing me away, but a husband isn't supposed to push his wife away. Quite the opposite actually."

"Elizabeth."

"Jack, look at me."

He kept looking at his desk. She went over and sat on his desk, right next to him. She put her hand on his shoulder. He was tense, still no emotion on his face. "Jack. Look at me, please." He still wouldn't look at her. "Do you love me, Jack?"

"What? What kind of question is that?" He got up from his desk and walked over to the stove with his back to her.

"It's a question that I need an answer to."

"Of course I do. More than anything."

She walked over to him and stood directly in front of him. "Jack, look at me." He looked at her. He didn't have a choice. "I love you, and I want to help you get through this. You can rely on me. You don't have to be strong this time. Let me help you. Please, Sweetheart." She reached out, put her arms around him and put her head against his shoulder and just held him.

"Elizabeth, why are you doing this?" She just kept holding him. After what seemed like a lifetime, he put his arms around her. He looked at her, this beautiful, kind woman, and he couldn't hold it in anymore. He had her. He just didn't have his brother. He started crying. She tightened her hold on him, giving him her strength and love, crying with him. After a few minutes, after both of them stopped crying, he looked into her eyes and then kissed her with all of the emotion he had left. He loved her so much. She was here with him, loving him back. He was so grateful she was here. So grateful she didn't give up on him. So grateful she was going to be his wife. He pulled back from their kiss, so they could catch their breath, but he still held on to her, as if to stop her from leaving him too.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jack. I'm not leaving you," as if reading his thoughts.

"Thank you for not giving up on me. I am so sorry that I pushed you away. Please forgive me." He kissed her gently, as if pleading with her.

"Of course I forgive you. And I love that you are strong, but you don't always have to be. I can be strong for you sometimes, ok?"

"Come here." He grabbed her hand, sat down at the desk and she sat in his lap. He held her close. "I will never push you away again, promise."

"I'm glad. I didn't care for it very much."

"I'm exhausted, Elizabeth. I think I'm going to kick you out so I can get some sleep. It's been a few days."

"Ok. Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? My guess is you haven't eaten in a few days either."

"I would love that, but I'm probably going to just sleep through the night. How about we have breakfast tomorrow at Abigail's? You, me, and your mom."

"It's a date." She stood up, but leaned down and kissed him goodbye. "I love you very much, Constable." She walked out the door, but she looked back at him, and smiled. He smiled back. "I love you too."

The next morning, Elizabeth and Grace stopped by the jail to see if Jack wanted to walk with them to Abigail's. Elizabeth walked in to the jail. "Jack?"

"I'll be right there, Sweetheart," he called from his room.

He came out in his uniform, looking as handsome as ever. "Morning, ladies." He came over, kissed Elizabeth and gave her a hug.

"Morning, Jack. How are you?"

"I'm ok. Kind of anxious to see my mom. She should be back in about two more days if the weather holds. I just want some answers and to get it over with."

"I'm so sorry about your brother, Jack."

"Thank you, Grace," he said with a sad look in his eyes. "I appreciate that." He held out his hand to Elizabeth. "Let's go to breakfast. I'm starving."

Elizabeth took his hand, lacing her fingers through his. "Yes, let's go."

After they ate, Jack went to do his rounds and Elizabeth and Grace went to see the church. As they were walking up, Grace gasped, "Beth! That is beautiful. The setting is perfect!"

"It is, Mother. And Jack did such a wonderful job on the church. I'm so fortunate to use it for the school. Let's go inside."

They walked up the steps and entered the church. "Its lovely, Beth. I can see you and Jack getting married here."

"So can I. I've always wanted us to, ever since he used his own money to build it. He was so generous to the town. They had a need and he wanted to help them."

"I bet he did it mostly for you, knowing what I do about Jack."

"Maybe."

"I did. Your mom is right." Jack said from the back of the church. He had come in while they were talking. "I wanted you to stay in Hope Valley. I couldn't lose you, Elizabeth."

"I thought you were going on rounds?"

"I will be. Just wanted to see what you two were up to."

"What did you mean, Jack. Where was she going?"

"Grace, it's a long story."

"I would love to hear it."

"Let's sit down, then." They all took a seat in a pew and Jack took Elizabeth's hand and started his story.

"About two years ago, Elizabeth and I had just started courting and I received word that I had gotten my dream assignment in Cape Fullerton. I thought hard about it. I wanted to go, but I wanted to stay with Elizabeth even more."

"I told him to go. That I couldn't be the reason that he didn't follow his dream. It broke my heart, but I knew I had to let him go." She looked at Jack, and laced her fingers through his and squeezed gently.

"I left and a few days into my trip I heard about a gang of robbers that might be near town so I came back to make sure Elizabeth and Julie were ok."

"We had been kidnapped, but Jack found us and arrested the gang."

"I was given a reward for their capture. After I helped the other Mounties take them to prison, I was given my pick of assignments, so I chose to come back here. When I rode into town to see Elizabeth and tell her, my ex-fiancé, Rosemary, had just arrived."

"She came to win Jack back.."

"But that was never going to happen. I loved Elizabeth. I wasn't going to pick someone else."

"I didn't know that, Mother. I just knew that Jack had kept it from me that she even existed. I was hurt and confused. I knew how I felt about him, but I wasn't sure how he felt. So when Father sent me a letter about a teaching position in Hamilton, I considered it."

"I was told that she had that offer and I was hurt that she didn't tell me, but I knew she was still angry about Rosemary. So I told the mayor that I was donating my reward money to build the church and school but to keep it anonymous."

"I figured it out in a second. That was a very generous thing to do, Jack."

"It was selfish on my part. I had to find a way to keep you here."

"Maybe so, but mostly generous." She kissed him on the cheek.

"So, Beth, when you found out about the money, you knew how he felt?"

"Not really. I knew he cared. A few days after that, I knew how he felt."

"Why, what happened?"

"Jack came to the saloon after school and took me for a walk. He took me up to the hill behind the pond and gave me a drawing he had made from a picture of us. It was beautiful. Then he told me that he chose me and that I was the only one for him. Then he asked me not to go, and he kissed me. That's when I knew he loved me, even though he didn't say those words."

"I'm not that great with words. Its easier for me to show how I feel."

"You are better with words than you think, sweetie."

"I almost forgot..Ned wanted me to give these to you. They came in this morning."

"Thank you Jack. I wonder who they are from?" She opened the first one and read it. "Its from Aunt Elizabeth. She and Uncle Wynn are coming to the wedding for sure. They arrive in a couple days."

"That's great, Beth. It will be so nice to see them again," Grace said.

"The next one is from Julie. She says that she and Father will arrive tomorrow." She went to open the last one and realized it had Jack's name on it. "Oh, this one is for you, sweetie."

"I hate getting telegrams after the last one. Why don't you open it?"

"Ok. It's from the Grand Hotel in San Francisco. They are confirming your reservation. What reservation Jack?"

"So much for my surprise. I should have just opened it."

"Jack, are we going to San Francisco on our Honeymoon?"

"That's the plan. I thought it would exciting. I've never been, have you?"

"No, but I've always wanted to. It will be wonderful. Thank you so much!"

"Well, I have some paperwork to attend to and rounds to do, so I will see you both for dinner, ok?"

"I'm cooking your favorite. Don't be late, Jack."

"I won't. Love you," he said with a quick kiss. "Goodbye Grace."

"San Francisco! That's going to be amazing. I can't wait."

"Your father and I went there on business a few years back. It is quite beautiful."

"I just wonder if we should postpone or cancel because of Jack's brother. It almost feels wrong to be happy, or to celebrate."

"Beth, that is something to talk to Jack about. If he thinks you should go ahead with your plans, then you should support him."

"Yes of course I'll talk to him about it. I was just thinking out loud I guess. Thank you, Mother."

That night after dinner, Jack and Elizabeth were sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of wine, enjoying their time together. "Jack, can I talk to you about something?"

"Always, Sweetheart."

"I just wonder how you feel….I mean, do you think…." She couldn't find a way to ask without making Jack sad. So she just sat there.

"Elizabeth, you have to finish a sentence if you want to have a conversation."

"I know, very funny. I just don't want to say it in the wrong way."

"Do you want me to guess?"

"Sure." This will be interesting.

"Um…lets see…You wonder how I would feel about having ten children?"

"What? Uh no. Guess again. And by the way, we are not having ten children."

"Ok," he chuckled. "Um…you want to know if I think your dinner could use more lard?"

"Haha…I don't think the words "my dinner" and "more lard" should be in the same sentence."

"Seriously, you want to know how I feel about going on our honeymoon so close to finding out about Tom?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"I could say I read your mind, but really I just know how you think. Always worried about the people you love."

"I could say the same about you, sweetie. Do you think we should wait?"

"If I knew my brother at all, he wouldn't want us postponing anything. He would want us to be happy and eventually move forward. I think we should go on our trip and enjoy our time together. Who knows how much alone time we will get once those ten kids come along?"

"You must be planning on those ten kids with your next wife, because I am only having three, tops, Mr. Thornton."

"Nope, it's you, Honey. Ten perfect little babies all with your beautiful blue eyes, dark brown curls, and perfect nose."

"Jack, three, tops. If all of the sudden, men can start giving birth, I will maybe go up to four."

"Deal. I will settle for three babies as long as you are the one giving birth." They both laughed.

"I love you, Jack."

"I love you back."

"Hey, so San Francisco…what made you think of there for our trip?"

"I've always wanted to go to the States, but never had a chance. I figured it was the perfect opportunity."

"When do we leave?"

"Well, our wedding is on a Friday, but the next stage isn't until Monday."

"Ok. And how long will we be gone?"

"I took a month off for the wedding and trip. We will actually be in San Francisco for a little over a week. With travel time and all, that should get us back a week before you have to start school again."

"Well, you have it all planned. It sounds wonderful," she said as she turned and kissed him. "I can't wait."

"Eleven more days, Sweetheart. Not very long."

"No its not."

"Elizabeth, are you nervous?"

"I guess a little, but then when I think about it, this is what I have wanted for so long, maybe I'm just excited."

"Me too. I wish I could have had the house done though."

"At least we have somewhere to live in the mean time and we don't have to wait another six months to get married."

"Very true. I don't think I could wait that long. I've already waited three years. Six more months would be torture."

The next few days went by very fast. Julie, William, Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Wynn all came to town. Exactly a week before the wedding, the whole family was at Elizabeth's for dinner. Everyone was talking, enjoying catching up with each other's lives. Elizabeth looked around the room for Jack. She didn't see him. "Hmm. I wonder where he went?" she thought to herself. Then she noticed the door was open a little. She went out on the porch and found Jack.

"Hey. There you are."

"Hi." He turned to her and she could see tears in his eyes.

"Are you doing ok, Sweetheart?"

"I don't know. I'm getting worried about my mom. She was supposed to be back a few days ago. I know it's not logical but I hope nothing happened to her. She's all the family I have left. I don't know what I would do." His voice broke and he wiped the tears away that had escaped to his cheeks.

Elizabeth stepped forward and hugged him. "I'm sure everything is fine. She's with Bill, and if he is anything like another Mountie I know, he will keep her safe. And to be clear, I am your family, and all those wonderful people in that house are yours now too. You would never be alone."

"Thank you for that. I love you, almost Mrs. Thornton."

"I love you more."


End file.
